That’s Not Normal

What happens when the life you’re living looks different from the one you were taught to want?

Stephanie Hanrahan once believed that in order to belong, she must meet the expectations handed to her: be quiet, be small, and by all means, just be normal. The world won’t welcome you otherwise.

But when both of her children were diagnosed with autism, every belief she’d held about what makes a good woman, mother, and child was suddenly called into question. Eventually, a stunning new possibility emerged:

What if the problem was never difference—but the way we’ve been defining it?

In That’s Not Normal, Hanrahan examines the expectations we inherit about what makes a life worthy. Through deeply honest, culturally aware reflection, she discovers that the things we’ve learned to fear—an autistic child, a sexless marriage, a growing body, a shrinking friend group—were never evidence of a lesser life. They’re an invitation to a more meaningful one.

Whether your difference is a divorce or a diagnosis, something chosen or something unexpected, Hanrahan casts the net far beyond autism, offering a hopeful vision to anyone navigating a life labeled as abnormal. Her promise is not rooted merely in finding beauty within what the world calls broken, but in recognizing that true freedom awaits when we question whether broken was ever bad to begin with.

That’s Not Normal is an anthem of radical acceptance for the outliers among us, revealing that a different life was never less. 

• “I know something about being labeled by the world—and about the freedom that comes when you stop letting other people define you. In That’s Not Normal, Stephanie Hanrahan writes with the breathtaking honesty of a best friend, the hard-won wisdom of a parent, and just enough sass to make the hard things easier. This book is a fierce, tender reminder that different is never the problem, the rules are always wrong, and normal is wildly overrated.”
  Lara Love Hardin, New York Times bestselling author of The Many Lives of Mama Love
• “There are many paths to find success and your identity as autistic people. Fascinating reading for everybody who is interested in offering ways to support and assist individuals on the spectrum.”
  Temple Grandin, New York Times bestselling author of Thinking in Pictures
• “Stephanie Hanrahan’s powerful book is the greatest gift you can give yourself: a procedural on how to love unconditionally. Her brave witness and radical humility will help you live more gently, more fully, and more meaningfully.”
  Meg Kissinger, Pulitzer Prize finalist and author of While You Were Out
• “Stephanie Hanrahan does us all a favor and blasts the notion of ‘normal’ and ‘good’ in her book, That’s Not Normal. This book is essential reading for anyone whose life has veered off script and those who never followed the script in the first place. Hanrahan writes beautifully and clearly about how we might free ourselves of the tyranny of ‘normal’ and ‘good.’ That’s Not Normal is a blessing, a comfort, and a triumph.”
  Christie Tate, author of New York Times bestseller Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life