Everyone’s Seen My Tits

A fierce and funny essay collection exploring the relationship between class and feminism, sexual politics, and the power of writing your own story; from the former Page Three model who inspired the iconic Ted Lasso character Keeley Jones.

At eighteen, Keeley Hazell’s breasts had been seen by millions. Raised in a poor, working-class family, she scrounged for chicken and chips money, got in trouble with the police, and once even set a car on fire. Modeling was her ticket out, but she soon learned success has a dark side, especially if it involves a woman revealing her body. She quickly became known as a big-boobed bimbo with few clothes and fewer thoughts; and, when the world is telling you who you are, it’s hard not to believe them. Her troubles escalated when she became the victim of widely-distributed revenge porn, and people assumed she orchestrated it to further her career. Desperate to save her reputation, Keeley’s attempts to do damage control resulted in a disastrous newspaper interview where she was unable to make herself heard.  But it also resulted in a reckoning. She quit modeling, moved thousands of miles away, reinvented herself as an actress and writer and eventually faced her most challenging job on Ted Lasso – rewriting what it means to be Keeley, both on screen and in real life.